And so it begins... (or, introducing Sam the Evil One)

A blog. Really? I mean...really?

So, I do a lot of thinking. This may sound like an extremely stupid thing to say, given that EVERYONE does a lot of thinking, but I'm realizing more and more how much I often use my creative powers for the powers of evil rather than good. So, you know...I was just thinkin'....maybe if I actually started writing about REAL things instead of imagined fears (hello, Artists' Way...sorry but those morning pages just ended up being three journals full of FEAR) I could perhaps use those powers like Professor X instead of Magneto.

That said, there's the little voice in my head again...my ego, my resistance...I call him "Sam". Yes, I've named him, because he is absolutely a separate entity, who looks a lot like a beholder/eyebeast from the Dungeons and Dragons books. At his best moments he's annoying, at his worst, he'd like to see me dead of boredom and inertia and will do anything to make that happen. Sam likes to tell me that no one gives a shit, "Who is going to read your drivel anyway? What makes you think your opinion or writing or thoughts or any of it is a worthwhile thing to share with anyone, let alone the blogosphere? You don't have anything special going on, you're not climbing Everest or cooking your way through Julia Child's epic cookbook...so, you know...who cares? Who needs your thoughts?"

Well, Sam, the answer is no one. No one needs my thoughts. But I have them, and I'd love to get them out of my internal hard drive so that there's room for actual critical thought rather than your inane meanderings about how little anyone cares about anything I have to say.

Wow. So here we are...post number one of my blog and already everyone knows I'm a neurotic, fear-ridden mess. Well, love me or leave me, kids. This is my kind of therapy...the free kind. But I'm hoping it turns into more than that. See, my goal in life is to use whatever f-ed up journeys and experiences I've had to somehow help other people or entertain them...yeah, it sounds lofty but really it's just me saying there IS actually a decent reason for me to be writing here, and perhaps at some point, there will be a decent reason for you to be reading here.

So, you know, there it is. Onward.